! This week I played a romantic prank on my partner. We've just seen Shakespeare's "As You Like It", where Orlando roams the Forest of Arden so lovestruck that he has to put up notes on trees. So I put up 15 signs on telephone poles with silly little poems and a flower inserted through a hole in the cardboard, all along the streets in a route that I knew she would take. She noticed. :) Here's a card today about being in love. <3
Can you really know if you have true love and if it will last?
It is true love when you're feeling totally comfortable just being yourself, and both of you do sweet things for each other, all the time, for no real reason, but just to say: YOU ARE IN MY HEART <3 <3 <3 <3 :) |
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July 2008 Archives
! The fire marshall came today and we'll be taking down the torches in the yard. I'm a little sad, but I already have plans to put in electrical lighting, which will look great. This card stood out today. Loneliness can be so destructive to happiness. I hope this person finds the courage to get out there on the dating scene. Like any skill, you start off bad at it, persevere and get better at it as time goes on.
I'm divorced and I haven't had sex in more than 9 years. Casual sex feels abusive to me, so it's all or nothing, but the loneliness is killing me. Also I'm broke but I spend money when I'm stressed, so I can't stop using my credit cards! Thanks for this art project, Johnny, it's beautiful.
I think the solution is just to work on your basic happiness. How about cultivating your own art project? Make a list of things that make you happy and sad. Try the happy ones when you feel like spending. And isn't this "all or nothing" dating concept on the sad list? You need to throw that out and be open to possible failure to get success in love. |
! The Boston Globe came to visit and there will soon be a story about the garden. It's exciting and yet overwhelming. What do I want out of this project, I wonder? With that in my mind, today's choice was an easy one. I empathize. --Johnny
I'm afraid to make big life decisions. I cannot define a single goal. Career? Artistic vision? Babies? Leave Boston finally? What traps me What stalls my ability to DECIDE & DEFINE
Make a list of the things that make you happy, things that make you unhappy, and things you thought made you happy but don't. Then work on the easiest one. Don't worry about long term goals for now. Find some stability. |
! Today my roommate Lynda helped me in the garden, leveling the marble scraps in the spiral. It was nice to have a companion, a project partner. If you're having trouble starting with change, get yourself a project buddy! -Johnny
What if I'm wrong? What if you wait and do nothing? Don't go with your gut. Make a pros & cons list. And if you don't trust yourself to choose, ask a friend. You're doing fine! <3 <3 :) |
! I have a friend who's struggling with a job hunt, so this card really struck me. There are so many resources for job-hunting, if you treat it like a full-time job.
I'm afraid to quit my job I've grown old and I don't have faith in myself anymore. I am no longer ambitions There's nothing so motivating as activity. Sure, you feel lethargic now. But make a resume, chat with some recruiters -- that will get your revved up. You can do it! <3 :) |
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Kirk or Picard? Picard made Star Trek good... but Kirk made it zany! Personally, I'm with zany. :) |
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How do I finish my poem? Think of the poem as a launching pad for the emotions of your reader. How do you want the reader to feel? Don't used "borrowed phrases", be introspective and describe the feelings in your own words. |
! I've changed the Website so that you can make your own comments now. --Johnny :)
Will it work out as I hope, or as I fear? If it doesn't work out as you hope, it's funny, having your life SHAKEN UP Always frees you to try something truly new which may go beyond your hopes! Hang in there! :)
I am afraid that I will never be able to live my life without depression. There are good times, but it is always there lurking, waiting to overwhelm me. There are so many ways to beat depression: medications, changing your relationships and work / living situation... But the best is to remember that your mood changes and you can partly control it. If you wait for inspiration, idleness just creates more depression. If you believe and get up and make yourself do something, your mood will change & you'll be glad you did <3 <3 :)
I have little idea of what I want to do, what I really care about. I'm afraid of making change. I always feel like there's a right choice but I'm beginning to realize there often isn't. Also I'm trying to find an apartment. THANK YOU FOR THIS SPACE. When you look at your energy today, all that change feels pretty overwhelming! <3 But changing your life just a little you do have energy for, and that will bring you more energy for the next step. Don't hesitate, just try something new today, and refine it or try something else if you need to! :) |
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Will I reawaken? Just by asking the question, you already have. Your life is yours and you have so much power to change it. Don't make excuses -- make a goals list today & share it with a friend. :)
I am afraid that my fears from past experiences will paralyze me from being adventurous and feeling comfortable & safe in my own skin. Time heals all wounds. Learn to deflect your thoughts. Whenever you think on it, just think "STOP! This is getting me nowhere" and move on to other thoughts, or stifle them by reading or calling a friend. Keep at it and this thought avoidance should lead to the past coming to mind less and less frequently!
I fear I will never find my soulmate or find him to late to ever have kids or marry at an appropriate age... Will I marry my soulmate by 28? Why is it that we: -- train for a job -- learn to drive -- practice sports But expect love to "just happen"? Work at it, make some mistakes, and learn. Keep at it and you will find Mr. Right. The #1 factor is usually confidence. What can you change in your life that is holding back your belief in yourself?
Can I move ahead to change my job (1) without enraging those I leave behind (2) keep faith with those I move forward with? Absolutely. Don't make it awkward. Just speak about it matter-of-factly without boasting or false modesty. If others wants to add awkwardness then it's their problem, not yours. Understand that you cannot please everyone. The good friends -- confident, giving, non-drama -- will support your success and don't let the rest keep you down. Hang in there! <3 <3 <3 :) |
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I'm so lonely I can barely breathe. *BIG HUGS!* <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Try taking a step back from the people in your life who aren't good to you. And ask an acquaintance to lunch instead! A great way to meet people is the volunteer group, http://bostoncares.org, or some other hobby. Meanwhile, while you're taking charge, try 800-SUICIDE, they are friendly. :) <3 <3
I just can't seem to write a song. Writing a song is tough business! Have you tried taking a workshop? Maybe you could start by taking an existing song and play with the lyrics or flip the mood or meaning. Dumb little exercises like that will get your creative juices going! <3 :)
I am still searching for my path, for my passion -- writing? song? labyrinth? family? animals, my own soul... Try making a list of the hobbies and projects of your life, from childhood on. You may find some surprising ideas for inspiration! Visit with other hobbyists, their passion is infectious! Above all BE KIND TO YOURSELF. You are doing just fine. :) <3 <3 |
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Why is it that boys don't find me attractive? It's funny, the more it worries you the more it undermines your confidence. Pledge to take a total break from dating and worry for --ONE MONTH-- Use this month to do more of what makes you happy and back away from things or people who drag you down. Building confidence is attractive and you'll discover you've been beautiful the whole time and didn't know! 
I cannot find a new job. I have lost my ART. Yikes! That sucks. When I need to be inspired, I hang out with hobbyists. Passionate people get you moving and thinking! You haven't lost your art I bet. It's just hiding. :) 
I feel unloved. Sometimes feeling unloved can be fixed with some love to yourself. If the people you hang out with aren't good to you, it's time to find new people! If they are good to you, but you feel unloved, possibly you're depressed? There are great meds for that. I care! SMILE! :) 
I'm afraid of taking an exam that's coming up tomorrow. Since tests are usually scaled, there are two ways to win: increase your score or decrease the scores of all the others. Try laughing maniacally during the exam. That ought to shake 'em up. :) |
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I fear I am a hopeless romantic and by opening my heart and sharing that openness I will be hurt. Ouch! My heart goes out to you. I used to think I had no sense for good or bad relationships. I'd get hurt randomly. Then I realized that I was being permissive, sort of allowing and excusing people for minor stuff in the hopes that it would get better all by itself. I stopped getting hurt as much when I learned to say no to someone who was rude to the waiter.
Sometimes I don't know if there is a point to my life. Movies and TV give us this sense that every body has to be a model, to be attractive -- which is silly of course. In the same way, this idea that everyone has to have some maniacal life-changing goal is a little silly. Did you know that you have better teeth -- thanks to modern dentistry -- than any of the old Kings of England? Make a list of all the silly plusses in your life life this! :) And maybe call 800-SUICIDE, they're friendly.
July 15, 2008 I am trying very hard to increase my endurance + fitness level without getting injured (54 yrs old female) -- it is so slow and frustrating -- I get discouraged now and then. Way to go! You are not a lone, a lot of people struggle with exercise. Try making a chart of your endurance as it grows. Or find an exercise buddy! You can do it! :) <3
I feel like I am losing my identity, torn between my old life with my family and my new life. Sometimes you walk where your family cannot follow. Your parents had this problem with your grandparents, and they had it with their own parents. So if you are creating a new life for yourself and your family doesn't quite understand, you are following in a family tradition! :) <3 <3(Would someone please post a better translation! --Johnny) |
!It has been 5 days and there are 35 cards now in the Abyss! That many people have written a secret, a problem, or a question. So many of them are striking. It's going to be tough choosing the best. It's so inspiring to see that people care about the garden and the Abyss that took several weeks of setup. (Until I saw these first cards, it was just a crazy idea.)
Will I ever find the love that is promised in all of the commercials, movies, ads, and TV shows all around me? Will I ever find real love at all?
I am afraid that I cannot dream big. How do I take a step if I don't know where I'm going?
I still dream of my MOM sometimes even though she's dead. Sometimes I get a hug. Sometimes we're shouting.
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| Although I'm too tired to write much now, the Web site is up, the garden and the Abyss are complete, and we have our first 10 cards. These are secrets or fears written down by people who happen to stroll by. I write some advice and empathy on the back and post them for all to see. It's a community art project. Soon, I will figure out how to post pictures and will start sharing cards I've received lately. As the volume increases, I will select the best ones for you, every day or so. Hopefully seeing that others have fears too (we just hide this in normal society) will inspire you to forgive yourself for having your own fears and start making the change in your life that you've been waiting to do. |