March 2009 Archives

Unfortunately, yes.

There's nothing you can do to make somebody else become a giving person. But you definitely deserve someone who's as giving as you are. You can spot giving people more easily if you don't jump into all the outreach.

Back off & see who joins you in reaching out. To get to "yes", be strong & able to say "no".

<3 <3

Just like you can't stop the rain but you can buy an umbrella & watch the weather report... you may always feel a little unsafe but you can take steps to actively shed that feeling. Make a list of what you're afraid of or unhappy about & take some steps to resolve it. Possibly you're just lonely for someone to take care of you once in a while. Get out there socially & in dating.

:) <3 <3

Make a plan, it drains your anxiety & gives you the feeling of control.

Get to know yourself without illusions. What do you really need to be happy? Put serious effort into going for it! You can cut your expenses & follow your dream if you try!

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I do like your picture!

I have never seen a giant whale on a plane fighting a giant octopus before!

Get your parents to buy you some mural paper & make the hugest happy ever.

<3 <3 :)

You shake it up.

You have so much power to control your life: your job, where you live, business, social, & romantic relationships. What seems exciting to you & what's holding you back. But don't jump ship until you have a real plan for success and a reality check from a friend that it will get you to happy.

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Try asking a mutual friend to broach the topic, like they do in grade school. It works for adults, too! If your friendship is so fragile, it's probably because your friend would feel "awkward" rejecting you romantically. Why don't you start the conversation by saying how stable you are & that you appreciate them & are OK as just-friends.

If your heart got broken by deceit or anger, you should resign yourself to dropping this person. Put your energy into finding someone new & your feelings should subside. No one would blame you for changing your routine or living space. Try asking the sex for a frank apology -- but it may not be forthcoming -- or to adjust your "friendship". If the breakup can be explained it's less hurtful.

She's right for you if she's good to you.

What, it's supposed to be complex?

Find a friend and be realistic. Is she giving & never gets irritable & you feel comfortable?

Are you equally giving, not allowing an imbalance of too much taking or giving?

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You are already good.

The real question is, can you be brave?

What do you want out of life and how can you be brave in getting it?

:) <3

They know they're not.

You can't be a good fortune teller without being a good deceiver. The practice should be outlawed.

Magical powers don't exist and the person responsible for your future is you. What do you want to change in your life? Find a friend & make a plan you can start this week.

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If it pleases you, and doesn't harm anyone else, then do what you like. The only danger is that sometimes the things we think make us happy really don't. Or have consequences that we don't realize to ourselves & others.

Get educated & make a pros & cons list. Become an expert on this topic so you'll be able to go ahead or stop.

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Does it deserve to be?

Somebody has to write the next big hit. It might as well be you! But if you go into the process without the mindset of doing your best & being competitive with the professional norms, you've already lost.

How can you educate yourself & get feedback on what it takes to be a pro?

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Once upon a time, a thief was captured by the king and sentenced to execution.

But the thief said, "Wait! Give me 2 years and I will teach your horse to fly, and if I can, then set me free."

The king agreed but his fellow prisoners thought he was crazy.

The thief explained to them, "Hey! A lot can happen in two years. The king might die. I might escape. Or who knows, the horse might just fly!"

There's always hope. Hang in there!

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You have to make the future.

What dreams do you have and can you make a plan for the future that you can start this week?

Somebody has to be the best. It might as well be you.

So get out there & do it!

:) <3 <3

If he's got a good reason to move, then you need to weigh the pros & cons of going with him.

Unless you have your own reasons to move, it's probably a bad idea unless you're very serious -- engaged, for example -- and it's not enough for just you to feel that way. He has to give to you, too. When weighing this, keep in mind that life goes on either way. Get a friend to help you think clearly.

Because pain fades with time, and hope springs eternal.

And because love is a risk worth taking. If you can learn from the past, even your mistakes improve your life.

Hang in there!

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Because it feels so right. Ultimately, what you feel is a kind of instinct, a short cut from our primal nature.

Using your head gives you far better clarity, although of course including your feelings is part of it. You may feel that something you did caused this, and that you'll never fall in love again. But you know in your head that you can learn & stop dwelling & get out there & date others. Be brave!

<3 <3 :)

You can't motivate someone from the outside. But you can teach. Make your brother a budget both with & without a college degree.

Get him a calendar & show him the research on proper sleep. Don't hop directly to a solution. First, show him respect & empathy. Then lead him to an acknowledgement of the problem. Work on his fear of failure & get him to just try studying hard for one semester.

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If the relationship was good, then isn't being friends just more of the same without the kissing?

And did you have a good reason to break up?

If you did have a good reason to break up, should you really be friends?

The best you can do is try to set expectations & "fake it 'til you make it" and soon friendship will feel normal, if there is real love there.

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People only take advice from others they feel respect & support them. So even though you're perfectly justified to be irritated, go cold turkey for a week and do something nice.

You might be able to stop the cycle, even though you're only 20% of the problem. Breathe deeply & chill.

:)

Sometimes you just need to walk away (or get some distance) when you're too close to someone whose negativity is draining you.

Is what you're doing really making you happy? Without illusions, are you really right? If so then put your free time & energy into making new friends & "family" friends who don't give you grief. Be strong. You can do it.

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It's just hard to keep it all in your head.

So get a calendar and make yourself one task list -- not scattered notes.

Being organized is a skill and like all skills you learn it starts out scary but keep at it and you will be a pro in no time.

<3 <3 :)

They'll stop teasing you if they don't think it's making you feel bad. Making you feel bad makes them feel powerful. So don't react to them, or think up a few verbal jabs back. The best way to love yourself & build confidence, so that bad words can't get to you, is to use your head instead of your heart. Try to push away the people & habits that drain your energy!

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You're wrong to think that you're fated to turn into your mother. If she needs mental health services or a new living situation, call the city or state for help. Don't feel overwhelmed -- there are a lot of people to help you help your mom. As for you, fixing your life is too complex for your gut. So use your head.

Set aside the question of accepting yourself & instead grab a friend & work on a plan for happiness. Your anxiety will melt away.

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Sometimes you leave only to discover that you carry your problems with you.

If your problem is a person or a place, leaving is pretty smart. But if you're simply hoping from your gut that shaking things up will result in happiness... you may be right but why not be more focused? Grab a friend & make a list of what's healthy & happy in your life & what's not. Then make a plan.

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Little sisters get paid to be annoying. It's part of the contract. Do you think you were an angel or a cute little devil? Probably a bit of both.

Sisters don't stay little forever.

Hang in there! Some day you'll be best friends if you can just tolerate her a little longer.

:) <3 <3 <3

Make contact with family & friends. That will give you a reality check as to whether to intervene or leave be.

Most people who reject advice do so because they don't feel supported & respected. Do you have a history of proposing solutions?

Start by building good will & work on getting her first to agree on the problem.

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You are the person who answers your prayers.

It's within your power to change your life. Start by making a list of what's making you happy & what isn't.

Spend some time with a friend and make a plan. You are not alone!

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You didn't stop 9-11 either.

Sometimes there's nothing you can do. You need to get active & get your mind off this.

Join a volunteer group or some other club. Make friends.

Live your life! You didn't save your friend but you can help yourself now.

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