April 2009 Archives

They rule the world and are served night and day by their subjects.

It's a good life.

<3 <3 :)

Do it like they do it in high school and ask a mutual friend to ask him.

Why are you so afraid of rejection?

Do you feel in your heart like that means that you're unworthy or that you'll never find love? You know in your head that's not true, so use your head to combat your heart. Get yourself some self-confidence by moving away from the people & responsibilities that drain you.

<3 <3 :)

Is your friend making progress?

It's easy to tell if he's stuck in a rut & not going anywhere.

Encourage him to back away from draining relationships & responsibilities and make a plan for fixing his life & getting what he wants. He will love himself more as his life improves.

(But if not, maybe he should get tested for depression -- it's quite common!)

Not really. There's a saying, "great artists finish." You haven't really accomplished a task you leave unfinished, especially if it's still at the verbal stage.

Think how we'd view Michaelangelo if he'd simply intended to build great works of art!

:)

What are you afraid will happen?

Make a contingency plan & find a creative way to spot trouble early or avoid it entirely. In terms of leaving, people often relocate just to discover that their problems are inside and move right along with them.

Find a creative way to stay in the place where you have the healthiest support network. You can tell things will work out when there's constant positive progress.

<3 <3

The trick is to be creative & find synergies. Can you find a reason to stay in your current place or for him to move? What opportunities might he have in the new place?

What concessions could you make -- like allowing him to get a dog -- if he comes?

If it's a healthy relationship & true love, he'd be a fool not to come with you, if you can reduce the pain of moving.

<3 <3 :)

You're confusing "doing something for a reason" with "doing something where you get back more than you put in, an investment!"

It's still a sacrifice if you're not getting enough back, even if you're getting something small like satisfaction.

It's healthy if you're genuinely enjoying helping someone deserving who's good to you, too.

<3 <3 :)

It's empty because I just moved!

But I hope to keep doing Wheel Questions this summer -- see the website.

:)

Because you are at peace with the world.

Find a friend with a troubled mind & inspire them to take action to fix their life.

Find this person, even if it is you.

:) <3 <3

Go online, go to parties, be brave and talk to men in the mall.

Go on one date a week & know yourself well enough to say "no" to the wrong men -- especially those who don't trust you well. Work on your confidence & sense of personal happiness by straightening out your life's drama, getting a great hobby & when you find Mr. Right: buy him a turquoise bracelet.

:) <3 <3

You can always adopt!

Talk with people who currently have kids about how happy they are today, not in the past or future. If you want a child, you can make it happen. It's also possible to mentor children without providing room & board.

:) <3

Sure, everybody has an off day and people are full of good & bad surprises.

The trick is to see the big picture & don't make excuses for bad behavior that's extreme even if it's just once.

<3 <3 :)

Has your heart ever misled you in love, or friendship, or eating an entire bag of Oreos? Wanting to believe that a mystical God placed humans here for a purpose is a similar yearning -- but it doesn't make it true. Isn't it better that we get to decide our own purpose? How do you want to change the world for the better? If you're unsure how to start, find a friend who's too shy or hurt to ask for help & offer.

:) <3 <3

This is too complex a decision to "go with your gut". If it's fine intellectually, then what really is the problem? If it's just that you're bored, you're ignoring your own responsibility to create the magic in your relationship. (Of course your partner has that responsibility too, but you be the first to suggest a weekend getaway and then prompt your partner to plan the next one!) Don't leave a marriage unless you have solid, long-term, unresolvable, big, & real problems.

:) <3 <3

I started it in July 2008.

You can read all about it at WheelQuestions.org

Thanks for making my day!

:) <3 <3

People are bad at predicting future happiness and remembering past happiness.

Find people who today have the resulting careers & ask their advice.

Academics (EE PhD) have a lot of freedom but you need enormous discipline & drive & it's stressful. But you might change the world. Law is more structured but typically stressful & busy too.

Who are you as a person & where is the balance between what you need for money, stress, & making a difference?

You can have it for free.

Ask a teacher to set up a cardboard box with a slit in the top. See what questions you get!

:) <3 <3

Sure, or how about THE ASKING SHED

or LAND OF MANY CARDS

?

:) <3

Become a new person by apologizing, making what amends you can, & pledging to act differently. Being a new person frees you to dislike your old self but love your new self.

Life is hard -- think of all the successful athletes & movie stars who are extremely talented yet screw up.

Change for real & she may yet forgive you.

:) <3 <3

Get them outside their school, by sending them to a faire or tradeshow. Have them chat with real people who have struggled & succeeded. Give them tiny project that give them a chance to get noticed -- poetry contest or essays or science fair. Challenge them directly. Somebody has to be the next Stephen King. Why not them?

:) <3 <3

If you're really into him, call & ask iof you can meet for coffee or dessert.

If there's any apologizing to do from either of you, you start first. And do the best you can to keep it non-drama. Just say you don't want to "have a big talk", you just miss him & want to try a meet.

:) <3 <3

Arrange as a surprise a visit to a local museum like the DeCordova or the Fuller that have art walk-in programs or an adult education course.

Do it together & tell her that you need her help & inspiration.

:) <3 <3

People who've made mistakes feel shame. Shame leads to rage and being abusive, not giving.

People surrounded by those don't give have their confidence drained away & blame themselves for the anger of others.

You can't fix those who are abusive.

But you can find someone who's too much in pain to ask for help & offer.

Get them away from draining relationship!

<3 <3