July 2009 Archives

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CRUNCH!

A three!

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Humans are very adaptable.

They can even get used to, & start taking for granted, clean water, modern medicine, democracy & freedom, first world prosperity, movies & TV, cars, air conditioning, electric lights, the Internet, social freedoms like anti-discrimination & child labor laws, free education, science & technology, and Dance Dance Revolution!!

Make your own list when you're down!

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Negotiate it now, while the good will in your relationship is at its peak. Think creatively about synergies & opportunities for him if he moves -- positive reasons why it furthers his dreams. Offer him a creative exception or concession like finally allowing him to get that puppy you've been resisting. Above all, make a plan & think about happiness, not obligations.

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Start by making a list of the things about yourself that you like in your head. It's hard to resist that.

Then back away from anyone in life (friends, lovers, family, co-workers) who's taking you for granted or constantly cuts you down to size.

Then get active in doing the fun projects & chasing your dream that you deserve. A positive spiral will emerge.

:)

When you read about people who've changed the world, they're doing something high leverage, that's needed, that others aren't doing. High leverage activities include founding an organization, taking research into production, politics, & writing a book. Get a friend & think over the change in the world you want but isn't happening. What's blocking change?

Can you make an end run around it in a way that inspires people to join you?

What allies can you attract? Who can you meet & learn from? You can do it!!

:)

Paper space shuttle!

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I'm sorry, but no.

It feels weird that the moon doesn't fall, because our feelings are an "inner chimp" that comes from our primate ancestors.

But feeling it doesn't make it true.

The moon doesn't fall. It's in orbit.

It also doesn't feel right that things don't happen for a reason.

So what? Who put our feelings in charge of the ultimate truth of reality?

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You need the confidence to know when you're right despite all feedback, and the humility to know when you're wrong and to listen to feedback.

The way to tell is to ask, is what I'm doing working? Do I have a reason to believe it will? Is it a risk I can measure & monitor?

If you're right, ignore the naysayers!

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I'm sorry, but loving someone does not mean they will treat you well.

If your partner isn't good to you, you must leave even though you love.

You love yourself too much to not.

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Every time relaxing becomes merely being idle,

Every time you do something wrong you regret deeply later,

Every time you're not brave enough to follow your dream, speak the truth, chase opportunity or flee trouble,

It's a little like death before your time.

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*YES*

Call the Samaritans, at their 24-hour hotline, at 877-870-HOPE.

They're friendly, I promise.

Tell them I said "hi".

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WHO WANTS TO KNOW?

They're completely false!

The reason they seem true is they're so vague. They could apply to anyone, & wishful thinking does the rest. For example, if I told you that you'd lose sleep worrying about someone special, so what? We all do that, & if you happen not to, well, people tend to forget how horoscopes are wrong.

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* <3 <3 <3 Yes! <3 <3 <3 <3 *

The world right now has the fewest armed conflicts & the fewest per capita deaths from armed conflict of all time, even including the cave men era.

Half the world is democracies, and they don't fight each other. Hang in there -- the other half will find peace by 2050.

Most people can't quit their addictions without help. You need to get over your embarassment & stubborness & reach out.

Stop buying unhealthy groceries.

Learn about nutrition & find healthy, good-tasting snack foods.

Weigh yourself every day & make a chart as a reality check.

Write your reasons for dieting on a card with a supermodel's photo & carry it always.

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Think of it this way. There are a certain number of intolerant people in the world. Just because you meet one doesn't actually increase the number or make the world a better place. You can't change people but you can ruin your own day by letting it get under your skin. Avoid situations where you have to deal with hateful people & hang in there. Social trends look good!

Yes, but you have to be brave.

You make the first step in asking people out. Go to parties, go online, go to hobby clubs & just say hi to people in the mall.

The more you do it the less important each encounter & date will seem & that will help you get used to it & lessen your anxiety. Aim for one date a week. Sort out your life "baggage" so you can say "no" to the wrong people & stay single for the right!

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Asking for help is a good first step. Grab a friend & make a plan. The more you define it, the more you control it & the less afraid you'll be. Ask for help for the energy just to get started. Once you're changing your life for the better you'll gain the energy to finish the job.

You don't need all the energy to start!

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Death doesn't just come at the end.

You sprinkle it throughout your life, when you watch television, when you're high, and when you invest in people or projects that aren't good back to you.

And when you wait to chase your dream.

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Sometimes there is no why.

Sometimes people make mistakes.

Sometimes trouble just happens.

But people are often generous, and happy accidents happen too.

Of course you fixate on problems, so you can fix them.

But look around you. Freedom, wealth, health, technology have never been greater. Look around, and smile.

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YES!

O+< O+< O+< O+< O+< O+< O+< O+< O+< O+<

You can't control love, but you can separate yourself physically from an unhealthy relationship, fill your life with friends & hobbies instead of pining, and you will get over it. Get a friend & use your head to overrule your heart's fear of being alone. You know you can't find healthy love while dating the wrong person. Be strong!

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Yes! The keys to social anxiety are becoming confident and happy in your own life, and practice. Do you have people or responsibilities that are cutting down your sense of self?

Back away from those & get new ones.

Then climb down from the "high stakes" of impressing women romantically & join some hobby clubs where you can practice.

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Ask everyone you meet for their story. Compliment the store clerk, the woman at the bus stop, the taxi drive, or just people on the street who look interesting. Those who respond, talk with for a while. You might even say you're on a quest to collect people's hopes & fears. You could even set up a Wheel... hey, wait... ! :)

You have to follow your dream.

Maybe you could work in the equipment business for restaurants making huge freezers & vats!

Find some synergies that put you on a stepping stone to your dream job.

But pay the bills, too.

This is me! I'm Johnny!

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Do something great.

Take all that grief & passion, the desire that you would change the world if only it would bring her back, and channel it into your job, creative outlet, or community.

Don't focus it inwards towards yourself.

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