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I'm pleased to announce that Curtis Brown, a major literary agency, has taken me on for my forthcoming book. Thanks to everyone who helped by saying "We Want the Book!" into the camera at the Cambridge River Festival! We're tentatively calling it, Ask Anything Under the Sun: Your 12,000 Questions and My Crazy Attempt to Answer Them All by Hand.
When you move to escape your problems, you might find that they move with you. Make a plan and think through it. Here's a card on that.
Where should I live?
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Live in the Place you can best build a healthy support network & follow your dream. Don't just move because you have no plan.
Make a plan.
:)
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Will he move to Cali after I move first? Does he love me that much?
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Negotiate it now, while the good will in your relationship is at its peak. Think creatively about synergies & opportunities for him if he moves -- positive reasons why it furthers his dreams. Offer him a creative exception or concession like finally allowing him to get that puppy you've been resisting. Above all, make a plan & think about happiness, not obligations.
:) <3
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Should I move to D.C. for a boy? I don't want to be that type of girl, but I could see myself marrying him.
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Only if he feels the same.
Don't make this black or white. There should be a clever compromise where you can visit D.C. for a couple of months without burning bridges.
Make sure he's giving too by making your possibly move more comfortable with his concessions.
<3
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Should I move to San Francisco?
Seattle?
Stay in Boston?
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Move and your problems may just move with you. You should live in the place you have the healthiest support network, and don't change locations unless you need to as part of your big plan to improve your life. What plan do you want to make? Grab a friend and make a pros & cons list.
<3 <3 :)
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Can I trust that things will work out & I can stay in Boston?
What if I have to leave?
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What are you afraid will happen?
Make a contingency plan & find a creative way to spot trouble early or avoid it entirely. In terms of leaving, people often relocate just to discover that their problems are inside and move right along with them.
Find a creative way to stay in the place where you have the healthiest support network. You can tell things will work out when there's constant positive progress.
<3 <3
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Will he still be with me when I go to school to get my PhD?
I'm in love with him, and he me. But my education comes first. Will he come with me?
<3
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The trick is to be creative & find synergies. Can you find a reason to stay in your current place or for him to move? What opportunities might he have in the new place?
What concessions could you make -- like allowing him to get a dog -- if he comes?
If it's a healthy relationship & true love, he'd be a fool not to come with you, if you can reduce the pain of moving.
<3 <3 :)
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It's remarkable how many cards I get that apply directly to my own situation. Here's one of them.
How far should I go for the man I love? Do I give up and say well he's moving and I'll never see him again or do I follow?
How far do I go? How can I just let something this good come to an end? Should I expect him to fight for me too?
-May
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If he's got a good reason to move, then you need to weigh the pros & cons of going with him.
Unless you have your own reasons to move, it's probably a bad idea unless you're very serious -- engaged, for example -- and it's not enough for just you to feel that way. He has to give to you, too. When weighing this, keep in mind that life goes on either way. Get a friend to help you think clearly.
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I need to reinvent myself. I know leaving is the right thing.
... Is leaving the right thing?
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Sometimes you leave only to discover that you carry your problems with you.
If your problem is a person or a place, leaving is pretty smart. But if you're simply hoping from your gut that shaking things up will result in happiness... you may be right but why not be more focused? Grab a friend & make a list of what's healthy & happy in your life & what's not. Then make a plan.
<3 <3 :)
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If I write the same entry in my journal (same theme, different situations) should I simply realize: "Oh this is a trend in my life" or should I try to change what's happening if I can even change it at all.
Basically, I'm bored... I want to do something reckless like leave all belongings and travel but everyone I know & love thinks its too risky in today's economy. Is ignorance bliss?
- 23 yrd old.
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You not only have the power to change, you have the obligation.
Leave it all & travel.
You have to make your own mistakes to learn sometimes.
The difference between traveling and just drifting is: do your homework. Find your plan to be happy.
<3 <3
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I'm currently in the middle of a problem like this card, so I empathize completely and fully. Really, any two people who want to work something out should be able to. The trouble comes when you discover that one or both of you doesn't care enough to. The question then becomes, what's the real problem underlying this lack of caring?
My dearest friend and I were walking down an unknown road and he just decided to turn right.
We want to go together even though we have no idea where the road leads. Should we keep going? Or should we let go and travel our own "known" paths?
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Life is short and people who are genuinely good to you are hard to find.
You don't have to make sacrifices if you're clever about creative solutions & have a good grasph on what really makes you happy.
<3 <3 :)
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My roommate Mauricio has been helping me put a new roof on the shrine in the garden. The old roof probably would have cracked under the winter snow. I'll post some photos of the project. The idea is to make this blog seem less impersonal. It's a real project and you are now part of it by taking an interest. Thanks!
Should I go to Guam and work at a resort for six months before deciding what I really want to do in life? They take US dollars so I wouldn't even have to change money. Convenient, eh?
Knowing what you want to do in life is an exercise in knowing yourself.
What makes you happy, for real?
How do you want to change your life? Change the world?
Go to Guam if it will help you get some answers. Don't go if you know the answers but are just scared.
<3 <3
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! Yesterday, Ginger and I started my Cape Cod trip by visiting the first park we saw, which turned out to be a campground. We couldn't find any walking paths and the first turn we made was the camp's dump. Finally we found a walking path but it didn't go anywhere. Just when I was hating serendipity, we came across some wild blueberries, an icon of my childhood. We picked and ate some. What a delight!
It's symbolic I suppose that the best can come out of the worst, and to be open to surprises. Here's a card about that.
I leave for the Camino de Santiago -- a 5-week walk across France & Spain. How should I approach it?
Be open to every adventure you find.
Meet people and let serendipity carry you.
And find a creative way not just for you to form memories but to bless the people you encounter by giving them an unforgettable time too!
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