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The Universal Record Database has awarded me 5 world records now for the Wheel Questions project. Here's an example of what I answer when I'm given very little information to work with!
Who am I?
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You are Captain Awesome!!
Try to get people to call you that.
<3 <3
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It's easier to get a grip if you know that feeling like you're losing your grip is normal. And can be overcome. :)
What if I don't know who I am anymore?
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Make a list of your likes & dislikes.
Do you like kangaroos? Sports? Cars?
You know a lot more about yourself than you think! Make sure to include what hobbies, friends, & jobs you've liked. Get a friend & do some brainstorming about what habits you want to stop & what dreams you want to plan for. You don't have to "find" yourself, make yourself!
:) <3 <3
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If you're worried whether you're a good mother, you're most likely a good mother. :)
Am I a good mother?
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You are if you give yourself the "me time" & have built a stable, happy life that's centered enough that you can handle the little prince or princess, without the rough edges.
And if you explain why so that every time you correct them, you're teaching them to think for themselves. Makes it easier to trust them & let go.
<3
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I have no idea who I am or where I'm going with my life.
How do I find that out?
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It starts with a list of who you're not!
Write down all the projects & day trips & relationships & responsibilities of your life & rate them -- were they healthy?
Did they make you happy?
A pattern will emerge!
The trick is not to go with your gut. Your head can give you some direction if you try, and bring in a friend to advise you, too!
:)
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My car has lots of problems -- bad cluth, engine, brakes, body. I don't need your help for that -- I know the answer: get a better car.
But I also have lots of problems; perhaps any one could be fixed, but perhaps not. But there's no "Craigslist.com:new/used me" section. How do I get a better me?
Thank you.
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You start by figuring out what to love & what to throw out. That makes the problem seem smaller when you write it down and set yourself goals.
The things you should change are the things that aren't leading to happiness. And most people cannot change through sheer willpower. Be brave & ask a friend for help! An outside perspective is invaluable.
<3 <3 :)
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Is making sacrifices for others really a sacrifice if you want to do it?
How do you know if you really want to do it, anyway?
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You're confusing "doing something for a reason" with "doing something where you get back more than you put in, an investment!"
It's still a sacrifice if you're not getting enough back, even if you're getting something small like satisfaction.
It's healthy if you're genuinely enjoying helping someone deserving who's good to you, too.
<3 <3 :)
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Is there such a thing as 'doing something out of character'?
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Sure, everybody has an off day and people are full of good & bad surprises.
The trick is to see the big picture & don't make excuses for bad behavior that's extreme even if it's just once.
<3 <3 :)
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will I be good
:)
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You are already good.
The real question is, can you be brave?
What do you want out of life and how can you be brave in getting it?
:) <3
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I need to reinvent myself. I know leaving is the right thing.
... Is leaving the right thing?
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Sometimes you leave only to discover that you carry your problems with you.
If your problem is a person or a place, leaving is pretty smart. But if you're simply hoping from your gut that shaking things up will result in happiness... you may be right but why not be more focused? Grab a friend & make a list of what's healthy & happy in your life & what's not. Then make a plan.
<3 <3 :)
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As I enter my 70s what are the sources for maintaining personal power as I find my physical powers diminishing?
Thanks for a lovely concept on a rainy winter day
Dec 27
Bill
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The pen is mightier than the sword. Maybe now is the time for you to write memoirs or a family genealogy tree, or take a leadership role in a community group or as a mentor. It's not hard to find ways to be engaged & respected if you look.
<3 <3 :)
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Sometimes people write me back after I've answered their first question. Here's a reply to the card I posted on Christmas, "Is there such a thing as normal?"
Responce to normal question:
Thanks Johnny! I don't really think there is such a thing as normal because everyone is different.
Being different is being unique and when you have friends, being yourself, then you know that people like you for who you are. People shouldn't try to hide themselves.
Do you agree?
Skullz 'n' Skittlez
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Yes! The job you work and the hobbies you have should make you happy, which means getting used to just being yourself. Hiding your personality to please others drains & demolishes self-confidence.
Also, it's ok to be unsure "who you are" but some experimentation will help.
<3 <3 <3 :) :)
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Merry Christmas, to those who celebrate. To those who don't, here's a card for you.
Dear Dude,
Thanks for all of your advise, I come here often. Is there such a thing as normal?
-- Skullz 'N' Skittlez
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Everyone has this urge to fit in & be loved. But you don't need to be normal for that. And what's the point of being a clone of someone else's life? Celebrate your differences. My name is Johnny by the way, see CrossIntoTheAbyss.org
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The new website is ready to go! You can see it at http://wheelquestions.org
Do we change in our sleep, and re-awake new?
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Yes.
Every day you awake with new willpower, unless you are shortchanging yourself on a good night's rest. Forgive yourself the mistakes of the past and be smart about spending each day's willpower towards happiness & stability.
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If you make the decision to change yourself and behave differently, you become a new person. It's OK to dislike the old you while loving the new you. That's how to deal with regret.
Am I a good man?
Yes.
Forgive yourself your past & focus on being the best person you can be in the future. Just by asking, "am I a good person?" it shows you care and can act from that feeling. You're doing fine!
:3 <3 <3
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"Who Am I?" is really a way of saying, "Am I ordinary? What do I want in life?" and these are confusing questions! It's a myth that when you turn 21 it suddenly becomes clear. The good news is that you're already unique. You're just not paying attention. :)
Who am I?
:-/
Imagine a famous actor is doing a character study to portray you in a movie. How do you talk? Do you have common habits? How do you treat people? Make a big list and ask friends for help. Then make a list of who you want to be. It's OK to change your mind on this! Who inspires you & what hobbies or projects have you enjoyed? Meet people who were once like you & made various life choices. Ask questions!
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Most of us aren't criminal, but we all have regrets. Here's a card about moving past that. Don't forget to love yourself.
I stole. "Publicly".
Ineffectively. I can't seem to put it behind me. It affects how I relate to things, and people.
Conscience naggy. Cannot look people in the eye for long. It was all a long time ago and I keep trying to make up for it.
Nothing seems to work.
What to do. I want a real life...
* YOU ARE FREE *
Stop yourself whenever you dwell.
You are clearly a new person now. You are free to dislike your old self but love your new self. Channel that energy into a volunteer group or doing something nice for others. Push away invasive thoughts with TV or reading or calling a friend.
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My roommate Mauricio and I bought a bunch of wood for the garden shrine. We're making a roof that will survive the winter snow. It's a fun project, but it's more fun just having someone who's helping, a project buddy.
Why am I here?
I don't mean the abyss garden,
I mean earth, here, this place.
You have a friend who desperately needs help and is in too much pain or embarassment to ask.
Offer.
<3 <3
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Today is my lecture, at 7pm at La Luna Cafe at 403 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge MA. I'll talk about the Abyss project and will hand out blank cards. :)
Will I find myself in the next year? I have been lost.
No, because you're going to find yourself today.
Call a friend and spend 3 hours making a list of what makes you happy, what doesn't, things you've done in the past that you're glad about, or not, and the pros / cons of the choices facing you. Stop waiting!
<3 <3
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Here's a card about someone who's been feeling too normal lately. I'm seeking a volunteer to help me promote this blog. It's one way to be different! Zip me an email to Johnny@Wheelquestions.org. Today's is this blog's two month anniversary. :)
Who am I? Can I ever become some one unique, with a special personality that fits myself?
At the moment I feel like part of the crowd, a conformist. I want to be different.
Please don't tell me that every one is different, It doesn't help.
Actually, I don't believe that everyone is different. :)
Figuring out who you are is too hard a problem for simple intuitive thinking.
Make a big list of things you like and don't like.
Then go through the list looking for trends. Then brainstorm about taking it to the next level.
Like art? Try taking or teaching a class! Like helping others? Join a volunteer group or start one! You can do it! :)
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